X Factor Judges Houses Part 4 – Cheers with Tears

The final morning arising in Marbella not knowing our fate, whether we were about to embark on the biggest reality TV adventure of a lifetime or fly home back to our mediocre day jobs feeling positively suicidal. We were shuffled upon the coach of destiny once again, and spent most of the journey to ‘Simon’s (fake) house’ concentrating on projecting positive vibes out into the universe (hippie style) to get that all almighty pass to the X Factor live shows. The nervous countdown was well and truly upon us all. The agitation and restlessness was rife, causing the likes of One Direction to become even more annoyingly fidgety, jokey, pokey, and childlike like the irritating little brothers they were.

On arriving we were met by the crew and the usual cornered off area in the garden to sit in, to eat, sweat and wait around shitting ourselves for hours. One difference today was that some English Newspapers had made a strange appearance amongst the buffet food causing a strong state of confusion, as there on the front page of one paper was the headline ‘Cowell’s House Trashed’, IMG_4466followed by ‘SIMON Cowell’s £1million Spanish villa has been trashed by a gang of boozed-up X Factor contestants’. Had we been trashing Simon’s mansion in some unconscious sleep walking state? Oh no wait because we don’t even sleep in Simon’s mansion. So when the hell did this happen? Nobody could understand it. Oh wait, was it yesterday when the crew had asked us to ‘pretend to have fun’ on the beach, then gave us a room on the side of the mansion for all of us to get changed in. So, okay, we got a bit of sand like everywhere, but claiming we went into Simon’s fridge and stole his beer… (eye roll emoji) I kind of wish it were true, at least we’d have seemed slightly more interesting. This was the first time we truly learnt the truth of the saying, ‘never believe the papers’. And it definitely wouldn’t be the last.

Later in the day after even more interviewing we were directed into the mansion’s cinema room. Not to watch a film, but to wait and wait whilst the judges did their ‘deliberating’ filming, deciding who would be more marketable to the UK audience, who would receive the most votes, who would put extra pennies into the Cowell’s high pants pocket? One Direction were called and off they went to face their judgement. But only 5 minutes later they were back looking greatly bewildered, they said that Simon seemed to have changed his mind and had sent them back without giving anything away to what his original decision was. One by one the acts were called out and went to ‘the other side’ without the remaining acts knowing who had succeeded and who had failed.

hqdefault18We were next, walking to the marks on the floor in front of Simon and Sinitta, lined up like sweaty, anxious little puppies waiting for a treat to be thrown. Our expectations were averagely balanced however we had a silently combined sense of hopefulness between us for what the outcome was going to be. Sometimes I’ve claimed to be a tad psychic and at this very moment I was picking up positive vibes from Simon and Sinitta. Now you might be thinking ‘yeh right you can say that now’, but honestly really I could feel it. I mean it could have been the minuscule corner smiles on Simon and Sinitta’s faces while they spoke to us, but I’m still going to put it down to my impervious psychic powers.

Sinitta-and-Simon-CowellThey spoke some words, which I cannot for the life of me remember; I just tried to concentrate on the qualifying ones. Us girls were gripping hands at a painful level where the sweatiness couldn’t even activate cringe actions. We were in it one hundred percent together, sweat and all. The moment came, that really long annoying pause where you start to think that time has actually stopped, and if it doesn’t restart soon you’re going to pee yourself. The moment where all your dreams are potentially about to come true… ‘I’m taking you to the live shows girls’. IT HAPPENED. Rebecca fell straight to the floor, I screamed like a fox on heat and threw myself at Simon Cowell (obviously). White Chicks getting free Chanel from a naked Ryan Gosling could not have beaten us in a scream off. If I were Simon I would have instinctively pushed us all into the pool as a safety measure. But he loved it really; at least I’ve made myself believe that. The euphoria I felt at that moment was easily the most gratifying feeling I’ve experienced in my life thus far and I certainly wanted to share that excitement with Dermy. No matter how Dermot actually feels he always makes you feel like he’s really routing for you, that’s his magic. All four of us literally long jumped to Dermot and gave him the pleasure of us continuing to scream in his ears.

He then directed us to another one of the secret side rooms of the mansion where we were instructed to try and stay totally silent, due to the cinema room wall where the remaining contestants were waiting being adjacent. When we crept in we were totally shocked and surprised to be met by F.Y.D who we absolutely loved! We had to silent scream with sheer excitement and congratulations, literally bouncing off the walls, silent scream disco style. We calmed ourselves down, silently, to sit and wait patiently (and silently) for the last chosen act to walk through the door. It seemed like a lifetime staring at the door, then it opened, we ran to it desperate for it to be our other favourites. Harry Styles walked through the door, alongside Liam, Zayn, Louis, and Niall. Us girls had gotten somewhat close to the boys so were very happy for them, however I hadn’t bonded all that well with Louis so the congratulations seemed slightly awkward while I was extremely upset that my friends Princes and Rogues had not succeeded in making it. The consensus was that it was One Direction and Princes and Rogues that Simon was undecided on and at the last minute made a split second decision between them. And now what a good choice he made, but how strange to think it could have all been so different.

We were allowed to call home and scream nothing that made sense to our family members, apart from ‘WE GOT THROUGH!!” All communication for the next 10 minutes were high pitched screams. The crew were amazing and supportive, wishing us congratulations, but the next bit was the hardest part, meeting the other acts that hadn’t made it. Seeing Princes and Rogues being so upset while we had just been screaming in pure delight was heart breaking. Seems so silly when we hadn’t known each other that long, but you really do become so close to people when you’re so isolated from your friends and family at home. They were so humble and happy for us, unlike The Reason who refused to speak to us the whole journey home, weird. I also had to take a plane journey home with some girls from Hustle who I had a feeling didn’t like me all that much. I don’t even think they wanted to add me on Facebook. Now that is some rejection. I’m sure I wasn’t gloating about being able to meet Cheryl….

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Oh and here’s us jumping into the pool for ITV2 The Xtra Factor (the fun factor).

FAST FORWARD TO 2:15 (Lols)

 

Back home to Scarborough I go.

 

 

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